


To make you feel my love

by joannereads



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Tears, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 02:48:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4590186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joannereads/pseuds/joannereads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little, tiny something, that wouldn't leave me alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To make you feel my love

Mike presses his fingers to Harvey's pulse and waits, counting each frantic beat.  
"Breathe," he murmurs gently into Harvey's ear. Slowly-painfully slowly-Harvey's frantic heartbeat begins to settle.  
"I'm sorry," Harvey whispers, his gentle desperation fragile and broken in the darkness.  
Mike rests their foreheads together; silent but vigilant. He waits, knows Harvey will talk when ready. He doesn't have to wait long.  
"It's this damn case, and Donna, and you." Harvey's sigh is one of frustration.  
"I know," Mike replies, pressing his lips softly to the older man's temple. "I'm sorry, sorry that everything has to be this way."  
This time, there is only the sound of Harvey's quiet sobs, his body shudders with the fall of his tears. Everything changes, nothing is easy.  
"Harvey, you have to know that-"  
"Shh," Harvey cuts Mike off. "I know. Okay, I know. You show me every single day. It's in the way you look out for me, the way you watch me. It's in the brush of your hand when you pass me something, it's in the tone of your voice when you call me. I see it in the way you watch me as I walk past you, or towards you. I feel it in the caress of your hand against mine. Don't say it, don't take it away from me by making it something we have to acknowledge and deal with. Because then more people will get hurt." Harvey's broken voice fades away and Mike's suddenly heavy in his arms. It's all such a mess. 

Mike is full of questions. They tug at his mind and fill his heart and swell his tears. Why? Why did it take so long? Why did he not see it sooner? Why did he not accept it sooner? Why did he force himself to love Rachel? Why?

Because there is only one thing he truly knows now, knows it with the certainty of the rising sun. He is in love with Harvey Specter.

"Kiss me," Harvey whispers against Mike's warm mouth. Desperate to wash away the anxiety, the fear, the sadness. It is too late, just too late. "Let us have this moment, just for us. Then we can move on." The pain in Harvey's words is real, palpable; an agony so thorough that it fills the air and breathing is hard. Mike presses his lips to Harvey's. At first, a soft caress that was awash with tears of regret. Then, suddenly, the kiss is passion and desire and want and need and have. Harvey pushes until Mike falls back against the couch, his eyes wide and frantic. He is already tugging at his tie as Harvey rests above him.  
"Can I?" he asks. Mike knows he cannot say no, that he has to have everything just once before he has to give it all up. He has made promises and he must keep them.

"Yes," Mike breathes and Harvey lays down upon him, pressing them together. Their tongues tangle, tasting and caressing and loving. Mike's fingers are light a they press up underneath layers of clothing and finally, finally, find Harvey's skin. He presses into the warm flesh and Harvey moans quietly, his eyelids slip closed. Gently, with the practised movement of experience, Harvey flips them so that he lies beneath Mike, giving him the power.

Mike's eyes widen, and then soften. He knows what Harvey is doing; any decisions should be his. The secrets they are about to forge have to be kept buried deeply and Harvey has to be sure that Mike can live with them.

Trembling, Mike begins to undress them. Thankful for the late hour, and praying they are left alone, Mike pulls at shirts and pants and socks, until both men are naked. Harvey's eyes are dark and sad. Mike presses light kisses to each lid and Harvey's tears leak silently. Mike laps at them, swallowing Harvey's agony until it becomes his own as well. 

Harvey keeps his eyes closed as Mike presses hot, open mouthed kisses to his chest, throat and hips. He noses at the soft crease where leg meets hip and runs a finger softly up the vein on the underside of Harvey's rigid cock. Mike's own tears fall silently as he worships every inch of the older man. His lips slide over the head and softly down the shaft; a warm and gentle pressure designed only to reassure and love. He sucks softly and Harvey gasps into the night.

"Mike!" he gasps brokenly, and Mike looks up into molten brown eyes. "Please, now, I can't-" Harvey chokes back a sob and Mike nods. He wants to give everything of himself to Harvey, if only this once. He slips a finger into his mouth, moistening it with his own spit and the taste of Harvey's precum. He presses at Harvey's entrance and slips in easily. Harvey's breathlessness fills the air around them as Mike settles into a rhythm; just the one finger, then another, stretching and caressing and owning.

Harvey begins to press back and Mike knows he thinks he's ready. He wants to hold off, but can't any longer. He slicks his cock with spit and then presses into Harvey, sgently so as not to hurt the man beneath him. He slides slowly, deeply, into the tight heat of Harvey's ass, his own breathing a frantic mess.

"Harvey!" he moans, before collapsing onto him and kissing him desperately. This is everything he never knew he wanted, never knew he needed. Harvey kisses him back gently, sadly, and urges Mike on. Thrust for thrust, tear for tear, Harvey and Mike drive each other towards oblivion.

Mike fastens his tie loosely about his neck and watches Harvey as he wraps the last piece of armour around himself.  
"Harvey-" Mike begins, but he has no words.

"Do you love her?" Harvey asks.  
"Yes, I think so. But it's different now." Mike's answer is raw and cold in his ears. "But it doesn't change anything. I will always, always be there for you, Harvey."  
"I know."  
Mike slips silently from Harvey's office, pausing to watch Harvey drift over to his expansive glass window and stare out into the night. His reflection is pale in the glass, lit awkwardly by the outside world which rumbles on despite the heartbreak above it. Mik's heart is cacophonous; smacking wildly against his chest and pulsing angrily in his ears. 

He watches Harvey cry. The tears fall silently in the darkness, but each one strikes at Mike with the force of thunder. Shuddering, anguished, Mike turns away. 

Harvey drinks his scotch. He loosens his tie. He dries his face. He tells himself over and over that he isn't in love with Mike, that it meant nothing to either of them, a bachelor party fling they would both live to regret.

Every single word is a lie.

That night, with Rachel sleeping soundly beside him, Mike fights to stop his mind flitting back to Harvey. He tries to drown out the moans and gasps and sobs that echo is his ears, scrubs at his eyes to disturb the images of Harvey's face as he fell apart beneath Mike, with Mike buried deep within him, as his orgasm tore through him and drove Mike to his own. 

But he can't. Haunted by what he knows he can't have, Mike rolls away from his fiancée and sobs silently into the crook of his arm.

**Author's Note:**

> Was a tad more depressing than I thought it was going to be. Sorry.


End file.
